


17 days of madness

by maybemoon



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, wooseok has a gun fetish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 01:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21419611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybemoon/pseuds/maybemoon
Summary: Wooseok sees Seungyoun's gun tattoo and spirals out of control
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 168





	17 days of madness

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written and posted a few months ago (right when X1 was starting), but I deleted when I was going through an anxiety crisis. Re-posting this in case someone wants to read it again. I edited the original text and added a new day (16th). Enjoy!

No one suddenly wakes up mad someday or even lose their mind in a blink of an eye. That’s what he always believed. Madness burned slow, didn’t it? With no rhyme and no reason, no beginning and most likely no end, sanity eaten until there was only insanity left. 

And yet there he was... on the brink of madness, knowing exactly the time and the place where he lost his mind. 

  
  
  


_ **1st day of madness ** _

  
  


Seungwoo bangs on the bathroom door and tell the time to the one inside, loud enough for everyone in their dorm to listen. The rest of the guys are showered and ready to rest after a tiresome day at practice, but the oldest hyung would be the last one to bathe. 

Now their leader mildly annoyed and who could blame him. They live together now, they need to be fast and considerate of one another when using the bathroom. 

_10:35_

Wooseok knows the time of his demise because Seungwoo hyung makes sure to say it again and ask the one inside to hurry up, but at this point his grumble is like a distant, empty sound. 

10:35. That’s the time Seungyoun opens the door to the bathroom, which was exactly the same time Wooseok passes by, which was the same time he loses a bit of his mind. 

Under normal circumstances, a fellow group member getting out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist was a common thing, but this time Wooseok’s eyes go straight to Seungyoun’s smooth chest, where droplets of water falling very, very slowly until they reach his tattoo. That damned pistol tattoo. 

Wooseok doesn't judge people who get themselves inked, but the art is not something he is interested in. And he knows Seungyoun has many tattoos, this wasn’t exactly new to him. So why couldn’t he stop looking at that pistol? The drawing was well done, but something about it made cheek burn in a way he isn’t used to. 

“Wooseokie?” Seungyoun says, shaking him out of his thoughts.

“Yes? What’s wrong?”

“You tell me, you’re standing there without saying anything,” he says as he’s still dripping.

“Nothing.” 

Wooseok rushes to his room, feeling there was something wrong with his head, but convincing himself that it was normal to look at someone half naked like that.

His mind is rattled as he talks to his mom and gets ready to sleep later, but things grow worse as soon as he put his head on the pillow. 

Before he can stop himself, Wooseok remembers those tattoos, Seungyoun’s skin and wonders about the place that gun is pointed at. 

He groans, hot and embarrassed of himself, and the noises that come out of his mouth startle Seungwoo, who drops by to ask something Wooseok can’t even remember anymore. 

Wooseok kicks the bed and then he tries to sleep. He barely manages it, but when he does, his feverish dreams are full of droplets, a tongues and a pistol. 

_ **2nd day of madness** _

Wooseok does his best to avoid seeing Seungyoun semi naked. He showers and goes to his room early, avoiding any direct contact. 

  
  
  


_ **3rd day of madness** _

Wooseok is thirsty. 

He reaches for his night stand and realizes he has no water. It’s late at night and everyone is probably asleep, so it’s safe for him to go to the kitchen.

Right? 

Nope. The subject of his weird thoughts is in front of the fridge, grabbing water just like Wooseok wants to. 

Seungyoun’s back is turned to Wooseok, so he can see what’s tattooed behind. Paixão? He wonders what’s that and also wonders what the hell what that thing tattooed under the word.

His mind doesn’t stop there. Seungyoun’s back seems so warm, what would it feel to trace his fingers there? What if he runs his tongue on his neck and… 

Wooseok shakes his thoughts away and runs like a coward without even getting his water. 

Wooseok is still thirsty. He’s thirstier than ever. 

  
  


** _4th day of madness _ **

He hates himself. Seungyoun is one of the nicest dudes around, someone who makes everyone laugh and relax all the time, and yet Wooseok could not look at the man without thinking about those tattoos anymore. 

Wooseok is a new formed mess, but Seungyoun is the same as always. During a public broadcast he’s loud, funny magnetic, and Wooseok still can’t shake some thoughts away. 

He is not that weak, though. Wooseok is a master at poker face, carrying on with his group activities like usual, interacting with everyone without showing he’s losing his grip. 

Or maybe he is that weak. 

During a game in a live broadcast, Seungyoun looks at Wooseok from under his bangs and his lashes, and his smile almost makes Wooseok break his façade. When Sengyoun touches his thighs, he put his hands over his face. He is not shy, he just doesn’t understand why he’s feeling what he’s feeling and he doesn’t want anyone to see it. 

  
  


_ **5th day of madness** _

Wooseok is mad tired from everything, including himself and his thoughts. For the second day in a row, he couldn’t sleep well, and that’s why he’s sulking and not because Seungyoun is supposed to sit beside him and instead is sitting next to Hangyul. 

Laughter booms inside their van. Seungyoun jokes about haters and their comments about the bad influence of his tattoos on younger members, but Wooseok can’t even fake a smile. He refuses to find any sort of entertainment from hateful antis, especially about the damned tattoos. He hates all that ink, yet he wants to see it again. 

Seungyoun cracks another joke, talking as loud as he always does, relaxed as he always is. Wooseok is the extreme opposite with his mind full, spine straight and eyes ahead, wired with electricity and lack of sleep.

During recording, Wooseok forgets his woes. Yet every time he looked around, Seungyoun is there smiling like he’s the sun himself. Ugh. 

  
  


** _6th day of madness_ **

His empty room, his MacBook and his AirPods were enough to kill his hunger for solitude, an escape from a living room full of excited voices and loud music. 

Wooseok watches random youtube videos, but without realizing, he ends up browsing for UNIQ performances. 

Of course, he knows about the group from way before, but everything is different now since he knows Seungyoun. Their music is good, no doubt, but he finds himself gasping when he watches a performance where the group grinds on the floor.

Wooseok is so engrossed watching Seungyoun’s cams he fails to notice a mop of brown poodle hair coming up from behind his computer.

“What are you doing, hyung?” Hyungjoon says with a grin. 

“It’s nothing.” 

Wooseok tries to close the computer fast so the curious boy wouldn’t see what he’s doing, but too late. Hyungjoon is already running to the living room.

“Wooseok hyung is a UNIQ fanboy,” he says, screaming his lungs out as he runs out of the room. 

Wooseok follows on his trail to stop him, but that boy is fast as hell and already got everyone’s attention. 

Seungwoo cocks his eyebrows. “Since you’re a UNIQ fan, I hope you stan Victon too.”

Everyone makes stupid jokes, but the way Seungyoun reacts to this whole clownery is just different. 

His eyes are hidden behind his fringe and his smile is small, lopsided, infuriating, capable of making Wooseok’s stomach to twist and turn until he wants to kick something to make everything pass. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m gonna stan UNIQ, victon, whatever you guys want. Good night.”

  
  


“I like up10tion too.” Seungyoun winks. “Just for you.”

  
  
  


** _7th day of madness_ **

  
  


During dance practice, he’s in the zone. During recording, he’s an ace. Yet as soon as they enter their van, tiredness sips from his bones. 

Seungyoun sits with Hangyul one row behind, which bothers Wooseok once again. Aren’t they supposed to sit together? 

As soon as he forms the complaint in his mind, he shakes his head at himself. Not being able to sleep is messing up with his brain and making him go crazy. Why should he care where Seungyoum sits? That game was just a way to entertain fans, not a written contract.

Hangyul laughs at something Seungyoun says, so Wooseok turns up his own music. To distract himself, he goes to twitter to see what their fans are up to.

Clicking here and there, he arrives at a place that no idol should see. He knows he should not poke, but his brain turns to mush when he sees the names Wooseok and Seungyoun together. 

No one pays attention to his as he sits alone, but he checks again if no one is watching. They are doing their own thing, so he goes deeper. Click, click, type, type. 

At first, it came the surprise (people shipped them together? Really? Why?), then the shock. People actually drew them together. Naked. 

Before his face exploded due to hyperventilation, Wooseok clicked elsewhere with shaky hands.

Breathe in. Breathe out, Wooseok.

While he’s busy making sure he stays alive, Seungyoun sits on the sit next to him with a plop. 

“What’s going on? You look flustered,” Seungyoun says. 

“Just tired from practice, that’s all.” Woosek fans himself and shakes his head repeatedly, which doesn’t help his cause as Seungyoun looks more and more entertained at him making a fool out of himself. 

“Were you looking at porn?” Seungyoun says a little louder than he should. “Inside the van? You’re a beast.”

“I was NOT,” Wooseok says in indignation. 

Seungyoun laughs out loud. “Sure man, I believe you.”

“Shut up, Seungyoun.”

In a strike of luck, the car stops. Wooseok jumps out of his seat like it’s on fire, but when he looks back Seungyoun is still looking and Seungyoun is still smiling. 

  
  


** _8th day of madness_ **

He avoids looking at Seungyoun to see if he stops being crazy. Not only he couldn’t stop looking at Seungyoun, but he also couldn’t stop being crazy. 

  
  


** _9th day of madness_ **

Seungyoun hugs him from behind during practice, and Wooseok stops breathing for a second. 

  
  


10th day of madness

Wooseok tosses and turns in bed until he finally has enough. This mess left him without sleep for days and that can’t continue otherwise he’s gonna go mad (as if he isn’t already). Now he has a plan.

With fast feet and sharp eyes, he notices some of the guys are in the living room chatting, while the rest of them are in the kitchen stuffing their face with noodles. Yet there’s no sign of Seungyoun.

On the tip of his toes, Wooseok leaves before anyone notices him and walks towards Seungyoun’s room. 

Before he can knock, Wooseok hears a slow and sexy song coming from the room. His brain is dumb so he wonders if Seungyoun is listening to sex making playlist. He slaps his forehead and groans because he should not be in front of a guy’s room thinking about sex songs. 

Since his crazy mind decided to ruin everything, he decides that maybe he shouldn’t talk to Seungyoun after all. He’s gonna go to his room and ignore everything until it goes away. 

But things never work out the way he wants, do they? Seungwoo catches him staring at the door and opens it wide open, revealing Seungyoun looking ready to sleep (and maybe ready to be kissed). 

“Someone wants to talk to you,” Seungwoo says, pushing Wooseok inside. 

Wooseok stops and spin on his heels. “No, I don’t.” 

“You look like you need someone to talk to,” Seungyoun says with a smile. “Sit down.”

“Bye and remember to behave like the hyungs you are,” Seungwoo says and leaves. 

“You know, nevermind. I really have nothing to say.”

Seungyoun’s smile falls. “Wooseok, sit.”

Wooseok tries to sit on Hangyul’s bed, but it’s full of used shirts and dirty underwear, which makes him get up again. 

“Maybe I can come back when it’s cleaner?” 

“Stay,” Seungyoun says softly. “You can sit here on my bed.”

Wooseok sits at the foot of the bed, with half of his butt cheeks out of the mattress because he doesn’t want to touch any part of Seungyoun’s body right now. 

“I really have nothing to say, really.”

“But I do.”

“You do?” Wooseok says, scooting closer and actually getting butt comfortable. “What is it?”

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t I look okay?” Wooseok whispers, so he’s not sure he can be heard over the sexy track Seungyoun is listening.

“You look tired.”

“Don’t we all?”

Seungyoun looks at his straight in the eyes, as if he’s reading Wooseok’s soul. “True.”

For a moment there’s silence, but then the sexy track ends and a quieter one begins. “What are you hearing? Is this your voice?”

“It’s a song I’m working on for a few months now. Do you like it?”

Wooseok doesn’t know if like is the appropriate word. The lyrics are melancholic, showing a side of Seungyoun he never gets to see. The beat and the lyrics bear his soul, but he couldn’t say he likes that his soul got hurt at some point in time. 

“It seems sad,” Wooseok says, hugging himself. The temperature in the room was good, but he suddenly feels cold all over. 

Seungyoun pats the part of the bed next to him. “Sit here.”

“Okay.”

Seungyoun adjust some pillows behind Wooseok and carefully puts a thin blanket over him. Now their arms are touching, which was a normal thing to happen. Yet he doesn’t feel normal. 

“You’re treating me like I’m a doll.”

Seungyoun smiles. “Maybe you are.” 

Wooseok wants to die or explode, or whatever happens first. But since nothing happens he decides to focus on something he can deal with. 

“It seems you went through a lot when you wrote this.”

Seungyoun grins, yet his eyes tell a different story. “Yeah, you can say that.”

Wooseok knows what he’s talking about and he wants to tell him that he has been through a lot too, just like him, but he closes his mouth. He’s not brave enough to open his chest and show his soul like Seungyoun is. 

Yes, I understand you. I’ve been there. I struggled. I felt empty. Sad. Meaningless. Yet he open up like that, so he just says, “I’m sorry you dealt with that.”

“What about you?” He says, his words full of kindness, eyes full of understanding. “In the past, but also this week. Are you okay?”

Wooseok looks down because looking into his eyes is more than he can bear. “A lot happened I guess, in the past. And this week… I can’t sleep.”

“I have plenty of boring stories to tell, so buckle up and maybe I can bore you to sleep.”

Wooseok doesn’t know what he expected when he came to his room, but a conversation that went from music production to depression wasn’t it. 

Seugyoun showed Wooseok his self produced songs, new and old, and talked about a time he felt so lost music was the only thing that saved him. 

Wooseok doesn't know when or how, but he falls asleep and not because he is bored. Was is it Seungyoun’s soothing voice or the warmth he felt inside his chest that made him fall asleep? 

He doesn’t know, but when he wakes up with Seungwoo’s loud voice telling him to shower and go to his room, Wooseok is snuggled against Seungyoun’s arm.

“Leave him here, he’s not sleeping well these days.”

Wooseok wants to die. Not only the best sleep of his life is being interrupted, but now the whole house knows he’s in the room sleeping with Seungyoun.

Before Seungwoo asks again, Wooseok gets up and rubs his eyes. “I’ll go, I’ll go.”

“Come back whenever you want to talk, Wooseokie,” Seungyoun says.

Wooseok’s heart does a little jump when Seungyoun smiles. Before, he wouldn’t know what is going on, but know he knows. Madness. 

  
  


_ **11th day of madness** _

Full mind, no madness. Dance practices are intense and fast, while their recordings keep them on the move. However, between one thing and the next one, he notices how the younger boys in their team rely on Seungyoun. 

That’s really fine, isn’t it? The boys rely on Wooseok and on Seungwoo too, after all they are experienced idols and older brothers who can guide these kids. 

Yet there was a weird feeling in his chest when the boys rely too much on Seungyoun. Did they need to hug him that much or stay in his bed all the time and not leave his room ever? 

Wooseok doesn't know if he’s jealous or just envious they can show their love for him so openly, without holding back, but he throws his thoughts away as they carry on with their practice after a break.

At night, Wooseok can’t sleep again. He can’t take this anymore, but he tries and tries, yet the many thoughts in his mind won’t let him rest. 

  
  


12th day of madness 

Wooseok is exhausted again. Tired from practice, from not sleeping, but also tired of not doing anything to change what bothers him. He is tired of waiting for things to change, so he’s gonna have to act. 

Miraculously, Seungyoun is in his room alone so Wooseok is just gonna go there and… and then what? 

Well, he’s not sure. But talking should be fine, right? 

This time, he decides to go there with slow steps, with the conviction of guy who is just passing by his bro’s room to have some bro talk. Nothing wrong with that. 

But as he arrives to Seungyoun’s door, Dongpyo comes from the other side of the corridor and heads to Seungyoun’s room. 

No problem, right? Hell no! Dongpyo loves Seungyoun’s bed, and Wooseok can’t let this boy have that tonight. 

Driven by sleep deprivation and a bit of natural born insanity, Wooseok runs towards Seungyoun’s bed and jumps into it. Who cares if the man himself is there having no idea what’s going on?!!? This bed belongs to Wooseok tonight.

Dongpyo and Seungyoun widen their eyes and look at him as if they are wondering if he lost his marbles. Well, Wooseok did lose them and he doesn’t care anymore.

“Hyung, what’s going on?” Dongpyo says, laughing. “Why are jumping like that?”

“Let hyung rest, Dongpyo.” Wooseok says with his head burrowed on Seungyoun’s pillow. 

“Good night, hyung. Rest well.”

“Close the door on your way out, baby,” Seungyoun says softly. “Good night.”

That soft ‘baby’ sends a wave of thrill on Wooseok’s spine, but he ignores the feeling and focus on smelling the nice fragrance on Seungyoun’s pillow. 

“What’s up, Wooseok?” 

“Nothing.”

“I feel like you have something to tell me.”

Wooseok panics. Could it be that Seungyoun knows Wooseok is obsessed with him, his tattoos, his smell? No, that couldn’t be. He is not obvious about it, he’s sure. 

“What do you mean?” 

“The other day I talked about my struggles, perhaps you want to talk about yours? Is that why you’re coming to my room?”

“I’m… I-” 

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay too.”

Fuck, his voice is so soft Wooseok could melt right on the spot. Their arms are touching, so perhaps he would turn into a puddle of warmth pretty soon.

“Can I just stay here without saying anything?”

“Of course,” Seungyoun says, patting his head.

“Thank you.”

He falls asleep, but wakes up with Seungwoo’s voice telling him to go to his room. But his sleep is stake so he’s not gonna go without a fight.

“I already showered, go away,” he says, voice muffled on the pillow.

“That’s not the point, this bed's not big enough for you two.”

“I’m small, leave me here.”

“Are you a kid? You have your own room and your own bed.”

“Shhh, mom. Let me sleep.”

“Yah,” Seungwoo says, sighing. “Go-” 

“Let him stay,” Seungyoun says, patting Wooseok’s back lightly as if he’s a small kid. “He’s not sleeping well these days.”

“Are you sure, Cho?”

“Yeah.”

Seungwoo leaves, but not without whining about how he has to handle a bunch of kids and an old guy called Wooseok.

“Thank you for letting me stay.” 

“You’re welcome,” Seungyou says, stroking Wooseok back. “Sleep.”

Five seconds later, he sleeps. 

  
  
  


13th day of madness

  
  


At night, Seungyoun showers and leaves the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

Usually Wooseok would a peak, his eyes traveling from each and every one of those tattoos, but this time he notices someone else is taking a look.

Hyungjoon is standing in the middle of the corredor, wide eyed, not saying anything while he looks at Seungyoun’s chest. 

“Yah, Cho Seungyoun,” Wooseok says.

“What?”

“Go dress yourself, you’re scaring the child.”

“What?” Seungyoun says, snorting. “What did I do?”

“You’re walking around naked.”

“Everyone does the same though.”

“Yeah,” Wooseok says, realizing he’s acting like a fool. “I guess we all do.”

That night, he feels like the biggest idiot in the world so he doesn’t go to Seungyoun’s room. He sleeps a bit better, but sleeping alone is not the same. 

  
  


** _14th day of madness_ **

Today is Seungyoun’s birthday, but sadly it’s also the day they shoot their music video. During the day, there's no time for nothing much except a hug and a birthday song when they wake up in the morning. 

Yet at night they buy drinks, chicken wings and a cake. The young kids don’t drink, but the hyungs allow themselves to relax fully after working so hard. 

The combination of exhaustion and happiness after filming their very first video makes them prone to giddiness after just a few drinks, but Wooseok doesn’t drink much. He just wants to enjoy the evening and the companionship of these guys he came to respect in such a little time. 

Seungyoun can’t say the same. He talks, drinks and jokes with the same type of abandon. And everyone laughs with him because how could they not? 

Yet at some point he drinks too much and starts dropping his head on Eunsang’s shoulder. The kid looks a bit confused, so Wooseok sits next to Seungyoun and removes his head from his shoulder.

“Someone had a bit too much to drink.”

Seungyoun was heavily sedated, but suddenly he perks up and grins like he’s a child and not a foolish drunk. “Oh, Wooseok, you’re here. It’s been ages since the last time I saw you.”

“I was right here. We talked earlier.”

“Well,” he says with a hiccup followed by a big smile. “That doesn’t count. I wanted to talk to you, but not like that.”

“Do you want to go to bed? I can help.” 

“Nah, I’m good here,” he says, dropping his head to Wooseok’s shoulder. 

Everyone was passed out drunk on the sofa or passed out in their beds because they were babies who didn’t drink, so Wooseok let Seungyoun stay there for a while. But all good things have to end, don’t they?

“Let’s get to bed, bud.”

Wooseok thinks Seungyoun is still asleep, but suddenly he feels something moist on his neck. 

“Thank you, Wooseok,” Seungyoun says, kissing his neck. 

That little kiss awakens him, cleaning his body of any alcoholic daze. Wooseok desperately wants to kiss him back, yet he behaves himself and takes Seungyoun to sleep. 

That night, he sleeps alone again. 

  
  


** _15th day of madness_ **

  
  


Another day, another busy routine. He has no time to breathe, let alone time to be alone with Seungyoun like he wants to. 

They are trendy idols, they have no time for cafe dates or big nights, which is sad in a way, but acceptable because they are here to pursue a dream they want so hard. 

The lack of time and big occasions wouldn’t stop Wooseok from buying chicken feet for everyone so they could watch television together, though. 

As soon as the food arrives, everyone starts sitting around. Hangyul prepares himself to sit beside Seungyoun like he always does, but Wooseok is faster since the other side is already taken by Dohyon. 

In his haste to steal a spot, Wooseok glued himself completely to Seungyoun’s side. Anyone with a sense of shame would go a bit to the side and give the other person some space, but Wooseok doesn’t feel like it. 

Seungyoun doesn’t move either. They watch some movies together, so they joke around and talk about the silly comedy they are watching. When Wooseok doesn’t hear something because the boys are damned loud, Seungyoun whispers in his ear, which almost sends Wooseok into some sort of trance. 

One by one they go away to their rooms. Wooseok is supposed to be sleepy, yet he’s alert, wired by his own drive to stay with this man more than necessary. 

“Aren’t you gonna sleep?” Seungyoun asks, looking at Wooseok under his bangs. 

They still beside each other, as if their bodies can’t separate, even though the whole couch is available to them. 

Wooseok shakes his head, not looking away. “No. What about you?”

“I’m not sleepy,” Seungyoun whispers. 

They should know better and go to sleep since they have a harsh schedule the next day, but something about the way Seungyoun wets his lips with his tongue tells him it’s not time to be sleeping. 

“What should we watch?” Wooseok says, grabbing the remote. 

“Do you have something to tell me?” Seungyoun says, looking down at Wooseok’s lips.

“Not really,” Wooseok says nervously. 

“I think you do, though.”

“I thi-”

Wooseok had decided he would take things into his own hands, but he isn’t the one who does it. Before he can blink twice and finish his sentence, Seungyoun is taking Wooseok’s lips with his own.

That night, they sleep in each other’s arms. 

  
  


** _16th day of madness _ **

At night, Wooseok sends Hangyul to sleep in his room so he could be alone with Seungyoun. Actual sleeping was minimal, but not because of one might think.

That night, Wooseok finally opens his heart. 

But his heart is full of wounds. Most of them are already scars, shaped by time, tears and patience, but living each day is like stirring them alive constantly. 

Wounds are hurtful memories that fight to stay alive over and over, but today his heart doesn’t hurt. When Seungyoun sleeps next to him, wounds stay where they should… in the past. 

  
  


_ **17th of madness ** _

Wooseok kisses the smiling and the sad face on Seungyou’s arm. Then he runs his lips on his chest until his kisses that gun, just once. He runs his fingers and traces the tattoos with the dates Seungyoun’s parents were born, then he kisses his lips. 

“What does _paixão_ means?”

“Passion.”

Wooseok clicks his tongue. “Cheesy.”

“You like it.”

Yes, he does. And that’s when he realizes he isn’t going mad, he’s just falling in love.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos and comments ;)


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